|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Letter to a Certain SomeoneDear C,
I absolutely loathe you. Loathe you with a capital “L” because of what hell you’ve put me through, though you may not have noticed or cared. You don’t seem to really notice me anyway, even when you do choose to recognize and speak to me. I feel like you look for the faults in me just so you can exploit them and tell me what I’m doing wrong. Every time I’m around you, I feel fake, forced. Forced to be someone that can try to impress you, get through your thick shell, but to no avail. It bothers me constantly for me to try and pour my heart, work overtime, all to get an “eh” out of you. I’m never good enough. Almost as if you don’t care. Don’t care that I value you so much as a friend, a person, someone who I want to smother with my affections. It burns me up and eats me alive to know that I don’t know what you think even though I can read your expressions.
It drives me mad to see
I Know Not MyselfIn exposing my body,
I found myself naked
To the elements.
No longer could I
Curl beneath my clothes,
I am a shivering mess,
Discovering limits that I could not
When I shielded myself
With my iron dressings.
In looking through longings,
I found roses
Colouring my vision,
Making me blind
To the inevitabilities of life.
Limerence was lingering
Over my shoulder,
Whispering about which boy
Was my next love.
In realizing that I was not
The center of my universe,
I became small.
In exploring the world around me,
I traced the edges
Of the ancient maps I held,
In the serenity of discovery.
Tunnels were anguishing
As I treaded closer and closer
To my treasure,
But the endless path
Still stretched before me.
In drenching myself in the ocean’s waters
I became vulnerable
To the unknown.
I saw everything and nothing
While beneath me
Lay a realm of uncertainty
Grasping at my feet,
Waiting to drag me under.
Exhilaration and fear
ConvolutedI remember us that night
Laughing hysterically while the moon
Shone on top of the house
Filled with our hopes,
We carved shadows into the wood
As the fire beneath us licked our elbows,
Burning desire that would one day consume us.
We kicked and played
As the flames drove higher
Enveloping us in a wall of warmth and passion.
We consumed ourselves and drew upon each other
Longing for closeness, love,
Something that at one time we might have seen
In someone else.
As our tongues twisted, monstrous and luscious,
We suddenly became ice crackling in the fire.
As the fire fought to stay alive,
Everyone in that house knew it was hopeless.
The streams of furnace suddenly encased in isolation,
Forever for viewing, but no one to keep it burning.
I left that night, shaking beneath my clothes
While you stayed behind to watch the smoldering ashes
The house, still entangled in ice, stands.
Its moans heard only to one of the two of whom
Managed to es
Keep in Touch!
Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More